Dear Diary,
I’m not the type to journal but I could’ve figure out any other way to express my sadness other than to write. I was planning on coming home in a couple of days, when I got a letter that informed me that my Papa has died. Life will be so different now without my Father there for me. I’m writing from the train, looking out the window it feels like all the memories are running through my head about my Father’s death. I must move on though for I know that he would not want me to sulk around and be upset about his death. I need to move on and free slaves and find out information for General Grant.
Dear Diary,
I’m coming home from school in Philadelphia where I have recently become an abolitionist. It is so difficult to wake up in the morning and see the slaves working all day long. I look out my window and feel that it should be me working out there and not them. What did they ever do to deserve this? I think perhaps I will try to convince Mama to free the slaves from our home.
Dear Diary,
Today I talked to Mama about freeing the slaves, she took it much better than I thought she would’ve. She said she would think about it normally she would say that she would have to talk to Papa about it, but he is now dead so that is not possible. If the slaves are freed I would feel so much better about being an abolitionist and working as a spy for the Union. I can’t imagine what it would be like to try and free slaves and tell people that slavery is wrong when I have slaves working away at my house.
Dear Diary,
I’m so happy! Mama said she would free the slaves! Most of the slaves are heading out tomorrow. I’m not sure what will happen to all of them but I hope that they will all be safe. Tomorrow I plan on talking to one of the slaves named Mary Elizabeth Bowser. She had talked often about getting and education, Out in Philadelphia. Well I think since our family has so much money and I don’t know what else we will do with it, I would like to pay for Mary’s education.
Dear Diary,
The war has started and I am now openly supporting the Union, and working as a spy. Well, I’m not sure if people know that I am a spy, but I am however. Today I am on my way to bring clothes and food to some of the prisoners at the Confederate Libby Prison. I’ve heard that the living conditions there are terrible and that most of the soldiers there are very sick. Today I found an article in the Newspaper about Libby Prison, this is what it said;” Libby takes in the captured Federals by scores, but let’s none out; they are huddled up and jammed into every nook and corner; at the bathing troughs, around the cooking stoves, everywhere there is a wrangling, jostling crowd; at night the floor of every room they occupy in the building is covered, every square inch of it, by uneasy slumberers, lying side by side, and heel to head, as tightly packed as if the prison were a huge, improbable box of nocturnal sardines” Just from reading this I am scared to go there. But I will do it for my country.
Dear Diary,
The prison was exactly as the article said it would be. I managed to free a few of the prisoners from Libby. To cover up my freeing the prisoners I have taken on a new identity, This new Identity that I have taken on is “Crazy Bet.” Because I dress so strangely I have never yet gotten caught, I hope that this will continue to happen.
Dear Diary,
I returned home today for a couple of days and I found one of our past slaves sitting in the kitchen talking to Mama. It was one of our past slaves, Mary Elizabeth Bowser the one that I had paid for her education, well it turns out that she had gotten and education to be a spy and an abolitionist as had I. We have decided to work together and be spies together. Mary will be a maid in the White House. Since Mary is just a maid at the White House, she is often times ignored so she is able to hear a lot of the important details about the war which she then tells me which I am then able to tell General Grant.
Dear Diary,
The war has now come to an end. It feels as though the war has been going on for the longest time. Today I was surprised when General Grant appointed me as headmistress of Richmond. This has gotten me shunned by my neighbors, I’m not sure why they are shunning me, maybe they thought it was wrong that I freed the slaves but I know what I did was right. I am able to tell something from right and wrong, and I know that slavery is wrong, and that is why I tried to stop it.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Story
Secrets
“Trust me.”The first words that leave his mouth when I try to debate if I can trust him again. I just stand there and look at him with a look of confusion and love on my face. Is he really saying this after what has happened. He doesn’t know yet that that one night that we were together could change the rest of our lives.
“I know I really messed up before.”
“But I want to make things better, I want to be there for you for everything that happens to you.” He says in the most sincere voice I think I’ve ever heard him talk in.
“Zeke…”
“No Ava, just listen to me”
“Zeke, there’s something I have to..”
“Ava I love you, and I never meant to hurt you, when I left you it was because I was scared, I was scared that you would leave me I was scared that…”
“Zeke! I’m pregnant, and you’re the dad.” The tears started falling from my eyes. Zeke gives me a huge hug and we both start crying in each other’s arms. Everything seems right and everything seems that this is how it should be.
“Zeke, all I ever wanted was to make my parent’s proud of me, and proud to say that I was their daughter. Now it seems that if we are out in public they are ashamed to be with me. I can never live up to my older brother Jesse. Everything he did was perfect. Everyone would go around saying what a wonderful son they had. Not once did I hear that about me and I’m sure I never will hear it now that I’m pregnant.”
“Ava I love you, and even though you can’t see it I know that your parents are proud of you and so am I, I’m so proud to be your boyfriend!”
“Since when are you my boyfriend?” I asked totally confused.
“Since right now, Ava you are having my baby, and I want to be here for you through the whole process.”
“It’s my senior year in college, I wanted everything to go right.” “I didn’t want to get pregnant, I wanted to save myself for marriage” “I didn’t want any of this to happen to me.” “The only thing that has happened to me that I actually wanted to happen to me is being with you.” “Zeke, I love you.”
“I love you too Ava” he says as he places his hand on my stomach and says
“I love you too my little baby.”
At that moment, all the worries of the world, and all the problems that I was facing with struggling with having to tell my parents about my pregnancy seemed to disappear. Everything that I had wanted in a boyfriend had all come true. Now it was time to go back to my dorm and get some well needed rest. I am so exhausted from this long day of telling my friends and Zeke that I was pregnant. I’m still nervous to tell my parents about it. I think I’ll hold off till tomorrow to tell them.
“Beep, Beep, Beep.” I wake up to the sound of my roommate making something for lunch Little did I know that it was two o’clock in the afternoon and she was having lunch, for all I knew she was making breakfast .
“Good afternoon sleepy head” my roomie Amie jokes teasingly to me.
“Ugh what time is it?” I ask totally unaware that Amie just hinted that it was already in the afternoon.
“Umm it’s two o’clock in the afternoon” she replied.
“ TWO O’CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON?!” I jump out of bed and run to my closet to get dressed.
“Good thing you’re not too far along in your pregnancy to go to the dance tonight.” Amie says.
“Dance?!” “Oh that’s right!” “The dance tonight.” “and I still have to call my parents and tell them the news.” I should probably call my parents now I think to myself. I really don’t want to do this. I wish I could just go on with everything without having my parents know, everything would just be so much better that way.
“I’m calling them now.” I yell to Amie who’s in the other room.
“Ooh good luck with that” she replies.
Ring Ring Ring the phone is ringing my hopes are rising because it keeps on ringing, hopefully their not home, and I can just call back another time. As I was about to hang up my mom answers.
“Hello” my mom says happily as she answers the phone.
“Oh hi mom, I wasn’t expecting you to answer”
“Oh sorry honey your dad and I were upstairs.” She says sounding really happy to hear from me.
“So how’s your senior year?” “How’s Zeke doing? He seems like a really sweet boy?” She says curiously.
“College is good there’s a dance I’m going to tonight. Zeke is doing good as well.” I reply in a monotone voice.
“Is something wrong honey?” mom asks in a concerned voice.
“Mom there’s something I have to tell you.” My hands are shaking now and I’m really nervous. I’m not sure how she is going to react to the news about everything.
“Is something wrong honey?” my mom asks in a concerned voice
“Not necessarily wrong….”
“Mom..?” I say scared to tell her the news
“Yes..?” she says with a concerned tone in her voice.
“I’m pregnant.” I exhale a huge breath of relief that I got that of f my shoulders, but I’m still worried about how her reaction will be. The phone is completely silent. I’m not sure what she is thinking right now. Tears fill my eyes. I feel so bad about what I did.
“Oh” that’s all she says, then I hear a sniffle, and a whimper as if she was crying. Why would she be crying? I’m the one that is pregnant. I’m the one who’s having this baby, I’m the one who has to tell everyone about what I’ve done.
“Mom are you crying?” I ask almost in tears myself.
“Yes.” That’s all she says.
“Mom I’m so sorry. I know this wasn’t supposed to happen. I know you’re not happy with me mom, and I’m so sorry can you please just forgive me mom?”
“Honey that’s not it, even though I’m disappointed I want to be here for you through the whole thing, just like your grandma was here for me when I was pregnant at the same age you were.”
“What?...Mom..?” Did my mom just tell me that she was pregnant her senior year of college too?
“Honey when I was a senior in college I got pregnant too, except I was married, I was married to a guy that I had fallen in love with in high school. We got married my sophomore year of college, I was so in love that I was blind to the fact that he didn’t really love me, we got divorced a few weeks before Lyla was born.”
“ But mom then how come I’m the youngest in the family what happened to the baby?” I heard my mom start to cry even heavier I knew something was wrong.
“About three weeks after your baby sister Lyla was born I realized that I wouldn’t be able to give her the life that she deserved. I wanted her to have the best life she could have, and I wanted her to have a normal family and I wanted her to have a dad, so I gave her up for adoption.”
I didn’t think I was going to cry but suddenly the tears started dripping from my face. I didn’t know why I was crying so I forced myself to stop.
To Be Continued………………………..
“Trust me.”The first words that leave his mouth when I try to debate if I can trust him again. I just stand there and look at him with a look of confusion and love on my face. Is he really saying this after what has happened. He doesn’t know yet that that one night that we were together could change the rest of our lives.
“I know I really messed up before.”
“But I want to make things better, I want to be there for you for everything that happens to you.” He says in the most sincere voice I think I’ve ever heard him talk in.
“Zeke…”
“No Ava, just listen to me”
“Zeke, there’s something I have to..”
“Ava I love you, and I never meant to hurt you, when I left you it was because I was scared, I was scared that you would leave me I was scared that…”
“Zeke! I’m pregnant, and you’re the dad.” The tears started falling from my eyes. Zeke gives me a huge hug and we both start crying in each other’s arms. Everything seems right and everything seems that this is how it should be.
“Zeke, all I ever wanted was to make my parent’s proud of me, and proud to say that I was their daughter. Now it seems that if we are out in public they are ashamed to be with me. I can never live up to my older brother Jesse. Everything he did was perfect. Everyone would go around saying what a wonderful son they had. Not once did I hear that about me and I’m sure I never will hear it now that I’m pregnant.”
“Ava I love you, and even though you can’t see it I know that your parents are proud of you and so am I, I’m so proud to be your boyfriend!”
“Since when are you my boyfriend?” I asked totally confused.
“Since right now, Ava you are having my baby, and I want to be here for you through the whole process.”
“It’s my senior year in college, I wanted everything to go right.” “I didn’t want to get pregnant, I wanted to save myself for marriage” “I didn’t want any of this to happen to me.” “The only thing that has happened to me that I actually wanted to happen to me is being with you.” “Zeke, I love you.”
“I love you too Ava” he says as he places his hand on my stomach and says
“I love you too my little baby.”
At that moment, all the worries of the world, and all the problems that I was facing with struggling with having to tell my parents about my pregnancy seemed to disappear. Everything that I had wanted in a boyfriend had all come true. Now it was time to go back to my dorm and get some well needed rest. I am so exhausted from this long day of telling my friends and Zeke that I was pregnant. I’m still nervous to tell my parents about it. I think I’ll hold off till tomorrow to tell them.
“Beep, Beep, Beep.” I wake up to the sound of my roommate making something for lunch Little did I know that it was two o’clock in the afternoon and she was having lunch, for all I knew she was making breakfast .
“Good afternoon sleepy head” my roomie Amie jokes teasingly to me.
“Ugh what time is it?” I ask totally unaware that Amie just hinted that it was already in the afternoon.
“Umm it’s two o’clock in the afternoon” she replied.
“ TWO O’CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON?!” I jump out of bed and run to my closet to get dressed.
“Good thing you’re not too far along in your pregnancy to go to the dance tonight.” Amie says.
“Dance?!” “Oh that’s right!” “The dance tonight.” “and I still have to call my parents and tell them the news.” I should probably call my parents now I think to myself. I really don’t want to do this. I wish I could just go on with everything without having my parents know, everything would just be so much better that way.
“I’m calling them now.” I yell to Amie who’s in the other room.
“Ooh good luck with that” she replies.
Ring Ring Ring the phone is ringing my hopes are rising because it keeps on ringing, hopefully their not home, and I can just call back another time. As I was about to hang up my mom answers.
“Hello” my mom says happily as she answers the phone.
“Oh hi mom, I wasn’t expecting you to answer”
“Oh sorry honey your dad and I were upstairs.” She says sounding really happy to hear from me.
“So how’s your senior year?” “How’s Zeke doing? He seems like a really sweet boy?” She says curiously.
“College is good there’s a dance I’m going to tonight. Zeke is doing good as well.” I reply in a monotone voice.
“Is something wrong honey?” mom asks in a concerned voice.
“Mom there’s something I have to tell you.” My hands are shaking now and I’m really nervous. I’m not sure how she is going to react to the news about everything.
“Is something wrong honey?” my mom asks in a concerned voice
“Not necessarily wrong….”
“Mom..?” I say scared to tell her the news
“Yes..?” she says with a concerned tone in her voice.
“I’m pregnant.” I exhale a huge breath of relief that I got that of f my shoulders, but I’m still worried about how her reaction will be. The phone is completely silent. I’m not sure what she is thinking right now. Tears fill my eyes. I feel so bad about what I did.
“Oh” that’s all she says, then I hear a sniffle, and a whimper as if she was crying. Why would she be crying? I’m the one that is pregnant. I’m the one who’s having this baby, I’m the one who has to tell everyone about what I’ve done.
“Mom are you crying?” I ask almost in tears myself.
“Yes.” That’s all she says.
“Mom I’m so sorry. I know this wasn’t supposed to happen. I know you’re not happy with me mom, and I’m so sorry can you please just forgive me mom?”
“Honey that’s not it, even though I’m disappointed I want to be here for you through the whole thing, just like your grandma was here for me when I was pregnant at the same age you were.”
“What?...Mom..?” Did my mom just tell me that she was pregnant her senior year of college too?
“Honey when I was a senior in college I got pregnant too, except I was married, I was married to a guy that I had fallen in love with in high school. We got married my sophomore year of college, I was so in love that I was blind to the fact that he didn’t really love me, we got divorced a few weeks before Lyla was born.”
“ But mom then how come I’m the youngest in the family what happened to the baby?” I heard my mom start to cry even heavier I knew something was wrong.
“About three weeks after your baby sister Lyla was born I realized that I wouldn’t be able to give her the life that she deserved. I wanted her to have the best life she could have, and I wanted her to have a normal family and I wanted her to have a dad, so I gave her up for adoption.”
I didn’t think I was going to cry but suddenly the tears started dripping from my face. I didn’t know why I was crying so I forced myself to stop.
To Be Continued………………………..
Spring Break
• Went to Chicago and went shopping
• Took the train there
• Had sleepovers
• Had a volleyball tournament
•
Over spring Break I went to Chicago and went shopping with my family and then went to the beach. The beach was really fun to go to because it was really warm out one of the days. Another day we went shopping down Michigan Ave. Something fun that I did while I was there my sister and I ran up and down the streets singing loudly and obnoxiously, there were a lot of people that were staring at us but that was okay because we were having fun.
• Took the train there
• Had sleepovers
• Had a volleyball tournament
•
Over spring Break I went to Chicago and went shopping with my family and then went to the beach. The beach was really fun to go to because it was really warm out one of the days. Another day we went shopping down Michigan Ave. Something fun that I did while I was there my sister and I ran up and down the streets singing loudly and obnoxiously, there were a lot of people that were staring at us but that was okay because we were having fun.
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